Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
