Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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