how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
where does the pee come out of this thing
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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