Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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