Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize