Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
