I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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