this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
