I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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