WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
