We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
