Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
