I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
