I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
