dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
