Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
im holly from the hills drunk
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
