Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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