____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
