I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
