definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
