A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
