oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
