"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
