I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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