he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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