this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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