What a fucking waste of an outfit
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
