I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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