Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
