so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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