It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize