She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
