so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
