Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
