I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
