Got a toothbrush?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
