so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
