I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
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