let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
