matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
