i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
