he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
