with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize