I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
