We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
