New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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