Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
