Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize