Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
