im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
