His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My liver just had a heart attack.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
