Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
