Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
