If i come over, it means nothing
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
soo... how was my night?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
