I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sober January is a disaster.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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