ugly people sure do ruin things
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
