Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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