Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
