Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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