and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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