im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
