I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
