ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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