D3 body, D1 cock
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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