What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
