Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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