You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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