its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
