16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Randomize
