I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The feeling are messing with the penis
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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