I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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