Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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