I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
