do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
