the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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