"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
