so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
